jeffreyforest:

i don’t care what anyone says- pregnancy test name jokes will never stop being funny to me

jeffreyforest:

i don’t care what anyone says- pregnancy test name jokes will never stop being funny to me

21 People On What They Would Tell Their 19-Year-Old Selves

Jonathan, 55: There is no such thing as “the only one”. You will meet lots of “the ones”. Only commit when the timing is right for the both of you – that can take years for some, and that’s okay.
Miranda, 24: Drop pre-med.
Isaac, 48: Deodorant does not count as a shower, and that haircut only looked good on Bon Jovi.
Anya, 42: Make the conscious decision to be happy, and then stick with it. Society will do everything in its power to convince you that your personal happiness is dependent on something external – beauty, success, wealth, etc. – it isn’t.
Parker, 55: 60% of the things you think are important now won’t matter a whit to you by the time you reach 50. The trick is to figure out the important 40% and work it.
Megan, 34: He doesn’t love you, and you will be okay.
Peter, 58: Don’t let anything stand in your way of taking part (or all) of your junior year abroad. You’ll never again have quite the same opportunity to experience a foreign land, for an extended period of time, in your youth. It is destined to be one of the most memorable aspects of your life.
Eleanor, 67: Talk less. Listen more.
Donald, 27: There’s a huge difference between who you want to be and who everyone around you wants you to be. Figure out which is which.
Camille, 56: Always remember: when falling off a horse, pull your tongue in.
Jackson, 57: No one knows anything for sure. They’re all just doing the best they can with what they have, just like you.
Vicki, 47: You’ll never have all the answers, so make every question count.
Donald, 38: You don’t have to grow up to be the dad you never had.
Katelyn, 30: Make the most out of college. You will never again be at a place where your only goal is to learn. Learn a lot, learn often, and learn with reckless abandon.
Joshua, 55: Women love to laugh.
Annabelle, 38: Drugs are not beautiful, glamorous or opulent. They are not a remedy, a solution, a cure-all, or a cure-anything.
Colin, 50: You miss so much life when you sleep until 3 PM. Wake up to see sunrises; they are the most stunning of nature’s masterpieces.
Eleanor, 26: Eating two pints of ice cream won’t make you happy. Neither will sprinting 10 miles. Be nice to yourself.
Aaron, 52: Don’t forget to ask that girl in the Oberlin library what kind of perfume she’s wearing. You’ll buy it for her in 20 years.
Scarlett, 54: Don’t be afraid to be yourself. Those that get you will love you, those that don’t, well, their loss. Just remember: Wherever you are, it’s a party.
Zack, 9: I hope you’re awesome. And be nice to girls.

sarahtheheartslayer:

ruinedchildhood:

The cast of Matilda reenacted the Bruce Bogtrotter cake scene for the movies 17th anniversary [x]

I really don’t think any of you understand how important this is to me.

(via imsirius)

inlikewithlife:

chaotic-awesome:

I Don’t Know How Much Vodka I Put In This But I’m Going To Drink It Anyways: a memoir

This drink tastes awful, but I can’t waste alcohol: a sequel

(via garderespoir)

bargainbasementbaudelaire:

at Little Italy, New York, New York

bargainbasementbaudelaire:

at Little Italy, New York, New York

takealookatyourlife:

thequeenandthephoenix:

kiichu:

shawtyimmaonlytellyouthisonce:

so i went on the american apparel site today

looking at the socks

and

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for reference

here’s one of the pictures for men’s socks

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seriously i’m not one to complain about sexism much but i just looked on this site and??

headwear

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what

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THE FUCK IS THIS???

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????????

also BAGS AND WALLEtS???

male:

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female:

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????????????????????? I DON’T FUCKING GET IT????

"gendered marketing doesn’t exist!! shut up femenazi"

"what is objectification"

unpopulaur:

"You should smile more!"

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"You look tired!"

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"Are you really going to eat all that?"

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Is it that time of month?

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"You’re just being dramatic"

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"You have terrible taste"

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"Just exercise and eat less!"

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"Thats really slutty"

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"I love Robin Thicke!"

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the possibilities are endless!

(via smashasomebox)

breakingbag:

yes hello this is your pilot speaking and by pilot i mean i read a wikihow on flying a plane once so i guess ill just have to WING it haha just a little pilot humor okie dokie nothing to worry about folks im sure i can figure this out

(via letsdanceintherain)

eventualprocrastination:

perel:

i do these when i dont know what to do

this is the greatest gif to ever exist

eventualprocrastination:

perel:

i do these when i dont know what to do

this is the greatest gif to ever exist

(via deducemyass)

fake-mermaid:

fake-mermaid:

how do people even build bridges wtf

like?????????

image

(Source: fake-mermaid, via deducemyass)

period by KRUNK Interactive